irreversible,

noone close enough to me knows me well enough, and everyone that does know is too far to do anything, it ends up in limbo and cries. retreating, hoping someone will notice the forgotten one's void.

permanence,

it grieves over things it never had, in pursuit of life it has missed the stars. now tired, out of time, how can it ever return. its forgotten how the green fields looked, it misses itself.

while in the happy times i've forgotten myself, i was short sighted, i thought i had time, after all every day was so full and so long. and it waited too long, i stopped looking ahead and drove off a cliff. desperately trying to claw back, starving and exhausted, withering away and accumulating. for a while it existed so close, it listened and imagined those passing over, once at the lead, now it can't even watch.

dormancy,

isolationist and tempered, left my life behind to keep holding on. it wouldve hated itself for what it's become, a creature which betrayed itself, it hopes to find redemption and love.

ive put away more and more of myself, ive forgotten who i am and my promises, trying everything with so much hope, draining itself. whats the use for memories now, its forgotten those too, as it served no purpose for tomorrow.

ouroboros,

back to the start i find myself, a look behind, and a look ahead, almost the same. all that energy and time for nought. so it continues down its only path, maybe along the way it can encounter the happy times again, one last time.

hope comes out of nowhere to live on, the very closest i've came, although not very close. a moonlit glimmer in a cell.

wavering,

i'm left to grapple with my own faith and its questions, does the faith just become false when its beaten dead, could you really blame one for their losses. i've lost my confidence as reality stagnates, while my own supposed blood points as proof.

how must i continue as my life cracks, i feel as if interrogated about bruises by the very same abuser. must i crumble and repress, walking on till i fall.