creating this for things i dont want to give out on twitter, though one could say its not any more private here, i guess things here will be more personal in some ways, a private twitter account would be optimal for something like this, but im still not sure im ok with putting them there

one asks who do i trust with this information, absolutely noone i reply, yet oddly enough its placed in somewhere more public. i think its like a cry for help, its like in elementary school i would cry in hopes of anyone noticing me, as teachers were not to be trusted, and i had no friends.

oct12 2141:

ever since writing noospheric wind i think ive had a affection for space, i guess from there was where the idea was really put into something i could build from. that isolation has really been something showing up all over in my works, i think i really long for it, i'd love a lonely life like that to develop ideas but i would probably go insane not getting to share them.

i dont have enough these days to hold onto a concept or emotion to develop it more, the void is paralyzing

oct13 1903:

wish i have the feelings to say something nice about you

oct25 2204:

anger and despair

oct29 0735:

cold and weak

nov6 1011:

temper temper, one after another

nov16 0123:

my dog makes me feel a little closer to myself and her, i like him

nov21 1329:

often i cant tell if im hallucinating or if its reality, i fear it regardless;

i fear the day they cast their order upon me and call it judgement

nov25 1631:

wish someone shows me home

2010:

the type where every time im about to lose it i find something new to hold on to

i dont know how many of those i got left

nov26 0703:

i feel asif starved and forgotten, slowly breaking down my faith that this thing will help me, and never even getting to exercise that faith, while those tells me they love me and interrogate me why my faith is breaking

i think i been operating on autopilot for months now, possibly a year, ive completely forgotten my self, and everything about it. i fight for goals with no idea why, i just follow notes left by my past, how must i justify this

dec2 1823:

it pains me not getting to cry

dec3 0041:

when can we get space travel advanced enough to just have independent space stations